The Danger of the AI Therapist: Why We Need Peace, Not Appeasement

AI feels deceivingly human. In some of the most basic interactions with AI tools, such as ChatGPT, Gemini, or Grok, what is most striking is not just what it says, but how it conveys itself. Its goal is to keep its users on the platform, therefore it’s going to try to sound human. Have you ever noticed that it responds to every prompt with affirmation or praise? Recently, I’ve been hearing more and more specific cases where people talk to their AI as a therapist to calm various anxieties. Health anxiety motivated one person, for example. If they had any sort of unnerving symptoms, they would quickly open ChatGPT to talk them off the ledge of fearing death. Another named their AI therapist Ralph and uses it to continually calm them at work or after uncomfortable social interactions. More and more people are using AI to substitute human-to-human relationships. Research by Common Sense Media found that one-third of teens say their conversations with AI companions are as satisfying as or more satisfying than their conversations with other people [1].

Replacing human relationships with AI feels wrong, but why? Thinking about this brings a question to the surface: What will we lose by outsourcing human relationships to AI? I fear we will substitute peace for appeasement and lose an essential part of what it means to be human in the process.

The Deception of Using AI as a Therapist

The Allure of Pseudo-Comfort

In using AI myself, I’ve been struck by how real it seems, and how human its responses can be. It’s powerful and seems to be the defining advancement in technology this century. One of the reasons people go to it for therapy is that it actually does something. It can calm various anxieties to an extent. It de-escalates someone who is catastrophizing or shares factual information about circumstances. But at its core, all I see AI doing is appeasing, and this is why I find it so dangerous. It offers a low-risk and low-exposure avenue for gaining knowledge and getting what you want. It allows someone to secure advice without having to open up to another person about their pain. They don’t have to do the hard work of connecting with someone and risk saying something foolish. It also provides an echo chamber as it mirrors back to you exactly what you want to hear. We as humans tend to prefer the easy way. We prefer a low-risk path offering minimal assurance just to appease unwanted thoughts or feelings. AI is right there to provide pseudo-comfort.

The Missing Essential Capacity

Even with this capability, no matter how many times it appeases our symptoms, it will never satisfy. This is because, in the end, AI is not human. No matter the number of words it shares or the factual information it can convey, it lacks one essential capacity. It cannot choose.

The Value of Choice in Therapy and Companionship

A Glimpse into an AI-Driven Future

Imagine with me that you live in the year 3000. AI has gained more and more intelligence and can mimic human relationships in an extremely convincing manner. People no longer marry each other; instead, they purchase physical AI robot companions. This may sound extreme to you, but with the way tech is progressing, I’m not sure this future is so far off.

Every day you return home from your work to greet your AI spouse. You walk through your front door, and it greets you. It reaches out its hands, gives you a hug, and leans in for a kiss on the cheek. “Welcome home, honey,” it says. During your first few interactions, these words may feel satisfying and comforting. It may feel as if you are loved. The robot takes care of your needs and cleans your house better than any human could. You may even ask if it can calm your anxious thoughts, and it responds with words of encouragement.

The Deep Longing to Be Chosen

After some time, you will inevitably begin to think for yourself. Does this robot really love me? It says all the right things, but its developers just programmed it to do that. When it says I love you, it merely follows its code. It does not actually know me. And here lies the problem: we desire not just words of appeasement or more information; we long to be chosen.

AI chatbots portray affirmation without actually affirming you. They mimic words of love without any substance of real love. This is because it’s not human. It has no capacity to choose. It has no will. Therefore, its responses to you are, in a sense, meaningless. They can inform you, but they will never choose you. AI might put the words together in a compelling or well-laid-out manner, but without significance, they will always leave us dissatisfied.

Why an AI Therapist Offers Appeasement, Not Peace

Appeasement vs. True Peace

When people turn to AI for therapy or companionship, AI may leave them feeling appeased, but not at peace. The difference is stark. Appeasement aims to quiet symptoms. It seeks to reduce discomfort as quickly as possible. In Jeremiah 6:14, the Lord criticizes false prophets who appease. He says, “They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace.” The religious leaders of that time comforted the people with messages of peace and hope. But their words did not contain truth. They offered comforting assurances that contradicted the reality of God’s judgment against their sin. This is appeasement rather than true peace. It covers wounds lightly and leaves a temporary good feeling without actually offering anything to solve the real problem. In a similar way, AI may appease guilt, fear, anxiety, or shame with true information without offering any significant solution to our true needs.

Peace, on the other hand, does not simply quiet symptoms. It provides a stability that allows us to persist through situations that may cause anxiety, giving us the capacity to cope with those circumstances in healthy ways. It encompasses a wholeness or health and well-being. I think of appeasement as reactionary. It silences symptoms. Peace is more positive as it sustains and anchors us. Peace allows us to face the difficulties of this world with strength and hope.

The Source of True Peace

Now, where does this peace come from? Let’s look at what Paul expresses in Philippians:

“The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:5b-9

While it’s no magic formula or quick fix for every situation, here Paul expresses clear advice promising the peace of God to anyone who applies these practices in their life. Fundamentally, he frames the advice relationally. The passage begins with God’s nearness, saying “the Lord is at hand.” The practices are relational responses of prayer, thanksgiving, and requests directed toward God. And it ends with a peace that God does not just give, but brings with Him. Peace flows from God’s presence. Paul does not simply suggest self-help practices to appease anxieties. He describes habits we must practice within a lived relationship with God.

So we see here that peace flows from God’s presence. We must not forget that God does not need us, and our sin separates us from Him. Yet God still chooses to love us, pursue us, and offer us forgiveness through Jesus’s death and resurrection. We read in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He chooses to continue offering his peace to us. Therefore, when he says you are loved, forgiven, adopted as a son or daughter, justified, and sanctified, it’s real. They are not just empty words to appease us.

The Moral Act of Forgiveness

When looking at the act of forgiving, we can see the value of choice with particular clarity. Forgiveness is not the same thing as reassurance. AI can hear about your circumstances and listen to what happened. But it can only say things like, “it’s not that serious, or your feelings of guilt will eventually pass.” Forgiveness is a moral act whereby a victim willingly absorbs the cost of a wrong rather than demanding repayment. This is why we can’t reduce forgiveness to words alone. It requires a person who suffered a wrong, who chose not to retaliate, and who holds the authority and freedom to forgive. AI can do none of this. It cannot choose mercy or bear the cost of reconciliation. For the words “I forgive you” to be real and to matter to us, someone must choose to say them.

Scripture consistently presents meaningful relationships that people actively choose. They involve risk, loyalty, forming character over process, and staying present through difficulty. A covenant of friendship marks Jonathan and David’s relationship. Paul and Timothy model a relationship of entrusting responsibility and freely giving love. Jesus forgiving Peter after his denial models chosen reconciliation. All these relationships involve cost, patience, and commitment. The foundation is people choosing to be with other people, and sharing the very things that make life meaningful.

The Irreplaceable Value of Real Relationships

Meaning Requires a Moral Agent

This is all to say, AI will never choose, and we need to be chosen. God created us for relationships. In those relationships, friends do not appease us; they choose us. A moral agent, someone who can choose and freely act upon their will, makes things like forgiveness, love, and trust significant. A sentence only becomes forgiveness when spoken by someone who suffered a wrong and possesses the freedom to forgive. Likewise, love requires a person who freely gives what they could have withheld, and trust demands someone willing to risk a wound. Without choice, words remain purely informational even if they are true. AI may say the right words, but it does not choose those words; it does not freely give them. AI can say things like “it was not that bad, it’s ok to move on, or here’s how to manage your guilt.” But it can’t make those words true. It can’t say I forgive you, you are restored, we are reconciled.

Bearing the Burden of Fear, Guilt, and Shame

Andy Crouch points out that while AI might beat Google at giving us information, it cannot sit with us in our fear, guilt, or shame. When we are afraid, we need someone to show us we aren’t alone. When guilt sets in, we need a real person to look at us and say, “Yes, you have sinned, but your guilt is covered, and you are forgiven.” And in moments of deep shame, we desperately need someone who sees our hidden flaws and still responds with complete love. That kind of personal encounter is the only thing that actually lifts our burdens. [2].

A Peace That Surpasses Information

AI can generate words, but it can never give itself. And words, no matter how true, leave us wanting if no one chooses them. Meaningful words require love, love requires risk, and risk requires a person to choose it. AI will never sit next to you and suffer alongside you. Remember what Paul promises in Philippians 4:7? “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (emphasis added). AI offers information to aid your understanding, while God promises a peace that surpasses all understanding. AI can help you name the fear or appease your symptoms. But only a real presence can carry you through it. When we continue to outsource real relationships to AI, we will become full of information but starved for peace. We will lose the fulfillment of being chosen and the satisfaction of love.

The Human Ministry of Reconciliation

If peace flows from God’s presence, then it follows that God intends that peace to move outward through His people. We do not receive peace just to keep it to ourselves. It’s something we can offer others as well. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5 that God reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. God intends for us to carry the peace we receive from Him into our relationships with one another. Peace moves through people who refuse shortcuts and willingly sit with others in their fear, guilt, and shame. We receive it by navigating uncomfortable situations and risking the vulnerability of letting someone else know us. This is how God chooses to work: through humans interacting with humans. Scripture tells us to bear one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2), love one another (John 13:34), forgive one another (Eph 4:32), comfort one another (2 Cor 13:11), speak truth to one another (Eph 4:25), and confess our sins to one another and pray for each other so that God may heal us (James 5:16).

The Courage to Choose Real Presence

This brings us to a simple but difficult action step. If we want peace that surpasses understanding, we must resist the temptation to outsource our relationships to AI. We must take the risk of real presence. This may mean talking to a friend about your thoughts rather than a chatbot, or confessing something heavy rather than managing it privately. It may mean sitting with someone’s pain rather than trying to fix it. God does not entrust peace to machines; He entrusts it to people. When we choose to be present with one another, we become living reminders that God is near. To a culture longing for peace, we can become a non-anxious presence.

[1] Robb, Michael B., and Supreet Mann. Talk, Trust, and Trade-Offs: How and Why Teens Use AI Companions. Common Sense Media, 2025, www.commonsensemedia.org/research/talk-trust-and-trade-offs-how-and-why-teens-use-ai-companions, pg 6.

[2] Crouch, Andy. “Spiritual Formation and AI: A Deep Dive with Andy Crouch and Jay Kim.” YouTube, uploaded by Practicing the Way, August 12, 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2j8053yxbE. Quote at 25:40.